Meet Bernie the Bookmark! Frankie (Patricia Heaton) and Mike (Neil Flynn) are sick of parenting. They have done that already with two children and just don't have it in them to parent a third. Frankie threatens to bathe with the toaster if she has to listen to that speech on how this year will be the best ever! Brick (Atticus Shaffer) doesn't bother to tell her about the pep rally where he introduces his library mascot: Bernie the Bookmark, the teachers are shocked at how embarrassing the whole thing is and wished his parents would have stopped it. Naturally, this leads to some teasing though Brick just might have a new ally. This kid might be big but he's called Tiny in his family. Brick can't believe that someone is finally being nice to him. They get together at the Heck house to dance oddly after school and Brick says that they can do this all the time because his parents don't care about him anymore.
In the meantime, Sue's (Eden Sher's) roommate hasn't shown up yet and she is lonely. Everyone else does stuff with their roommate and she is horribly left out. She's alone in her picture on the bulletin board. Her RA (Stephanie Merlo) isn't enthuasic about anything. And when she does finally get together, it goes badly. She is shocked that people don't love America and that policemen can be bad. She just leaves and they inform her that she's part of the problem. And then, her roommate finally shows up. Holly (Lyndon Smith) has a nose ring and immediately wonders why there is no beer in the fridge. She isn't upset that she missed all of freshman week because she's actually a junior. And she lost out in the housing lottery, she wanted a single. Holly tells Sue that freshman and sophomore year sucked and she's pretty sure that junior year will be more of the same. And then she leaves.
Sue texts her parents in abundance. They get so sick of it. They try to cut the cord.
Things go from bad to worse. Holly puts an inappropriate sign on the wall. It is so bad that The Middle goes somewhere it has never gone before: the blurred out word. Yes, the sign says blurred out word Life. Sue is appalled. Holly lays down the law: they will never be friends because she hates people. She just wants to get her nursing degree and get the hell out of dodge. And her boyfriend is coming over tonight so Sue better get out of there. She does but is written up for sleeping in the common room and then throws up because of that act, not because she is drunk. She calls her parents in tears and Frankie and Mike drive up there upset over their little girl's pain. Fortunately, Axl (Charlie McDermott) takes pity on her and they go out for pizza. The parents are so touched only to realize that they didn't tell Brick they were leaving.
This was still a pretty good episode and I liked that Axl wasn't a complete jerk to his sister. She really needs his support and I'm glad that he realizes that and finally throws her a bone. I believe, though, that Frankie and Mike are truly dreadful parents. They want to coast through Brick's remaining years at home. Usually, the youngest child is spoiled but that is not the case in the Heck household; he's ignored instead.
Still, this is still a good episode, I just hope Sue can find a real friend and stat. Grade: B+
Side Notes:
-Axl has a fairly good plot line. His apartment is infected with ants. They try to lure them with syrup but that makes things worse. He gets a ferret to kill the ants but it runs away because Hutch (Alphonso McAuley) keeps the backroom open so girls can get in. Sue is thrilled about the ferret.
-Sue tells her parents that she has only eaten ice cream sandwiches for days and hasn't pooped in three days because someone is always in the bathroom. She thought pooping at three in the morning would be possible but that is when all the barfers come in. Yikes. Yet, it was the funniest moment in this episode. Axl later admits he has the same problem.
-Frankie is okay watching football with her husband.
-They don't feed Brick dinner because Mike's co-worker had a birthday at work and Frankie picked up a burrito on her way home and you must eat that food before it hardens. Again, they are horrible, neglectful parents.
-Holly doesn't even put sheets on her bed. She just sleeps on her coat.
-If Holly hates people, why does she want to be a nurse? That's the worst idea ever.
-I hope things get better for Sue. She doesn't deserve this.
-Frankie doesn't have heartburn but that doesn't mean she and Mike can have sex.
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