Thursday, March 24, 2016

What You Left Behind by Jessica Verdi

While I don't review books that often, I am making an exception.
This book is told from the point of view of Ryden Brooks who has not had an easy life. His father ditched his young mother the moment she told him that she was pregnant and then his girlfriend died far too young of cancer, leaving behind their infant daughter. Yes, poor Ryden is now also a teenage father, his future hanging precariously in the balance. Meg, his late girlfriend, had everything all planned out. She wrote letters, journals actually, for her younger sister, best friend and boyfriend to find, leaving behind a string of secrets only to be uncovered after her untimely death. Now, while Ryden firmly blames himself for killing Meg. She became pregnant and then didn't go back for more chemotherapy so she could have the baby, letting her body waste away so she was never able to recover, I suspected strongly from early on that she got pregnant on purpose. And I was right. She did get pregnant on purpose, knowing, despite all her lies, that this melanoma was going to kill her and she wanted to leave something behind. Now, while I don't blame her at all, she should have known that her parents weren't supportive. In fact, they don't see baby Hope (ironic name and all) or pay for her care even though they have more money than Ryden's mother. Only Meg's sister, Mabel, cares at all about the baby. And despite all of Ryden's pleas for Meg to have an abortion, he is still raising the healthy baby, untouched for her mother's many health problems. He thought that raising her would be the right thing over putting her up for adoption. And while he's doing a pretty good job, he doesn't understand how precious and how much of a miracle she is and he focuses tons more on his own life, getting into UCLA to play soccer, another dream which blows up in his face as with all of his responsibilities, including school and work, plus the baby and her constant care, he is late to several practices and his coach isn't sympathetic to his special case. While I understand that, I am glad that at least his history teacher understands. This kid does need a bigger and better support system than he has. On the other hand, Ryden takes advantage of Meg's best friend, Alan, who offers to take care of Hope while he has soccer practice and he meets this new girl at work, Joni. Joni goes to a different school and doesn't know about his devastating past and he wants to keep it that way. Oh yeah, and you would think he would have learned not to have sex too soon after what happened with Meg, but they have sex far too soon in that relationship also, but at least this time, Ryden uses a condom. Thank God. So Ryden is far too much of a teenager than his situation allows.
Okay, though I literally could not put this book down, I do have issues with it. Not really the writing style, which remains fluid throughout, and she has a different voice for the many journal entries of Meg, but with the ethics of the characters in this book. Honestly, Hope might have been better off with a loving couple who longed for a baby, not a too young father who wanted her aborted. And Meg's parents remain off stage but they are just the worst, not even attempting to understand what was behind her life-ending decision. Her father just sucks away at bottle after bottle of wine.
The book also has a lot going on, such as Ryden's battle to decide whether he wants to find his dad, his struggles with Hope, his new relationship with the zany Joni, and his soccer. In the end, Meg found his dad and though he was ready, literally in the car, to find his dad, he changes his mind, knowing that he doesn't need to meet his dad to be a good father, that he's already there, which is a slight stretch, but whatever. I also hated the flashback from Meg, where she mentions that she was so obsessed with Ryden that she ignored her body's signals that she was getting sick, that was just far too much and ridiculous. Ryden didn't even know who she was at the time.
All of that being said, I can still see something similar to this happening in real life. As I've already said, I would seriously consider this, but I'm lucky, my parents might not be supportive but they would understand never turn their back on my child. Little Hope was not that lucky.
This book is as Ryden says, deals with the crappiest of crap situations and that is the truth, everyone does lose, only some lose much more than others. Grade: B+

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