Tonight we get something a little different: Dick Van Dyke back on TV. And, boy, he needs how to make an entrance. Frankie's (Patricia Heaton's) mom is on a cruise and her father, Tag (Jerry Van Dyke) doesn't want to stuck at home all alone, trying to mend the fences with his older brother, Dutch (Dick Van Dyke). He believes that Dutch will be in bad shape and nips at the rest of the family to pick up the extra rugs so Dutch won't trip on them. But Dutch is in fine health for a man of his age. He can still reenact his commercial for his carpet cleaning business. Tag, on the other, has arthritis in his hip so bad, he is forced to use a cane to get around, though he will not be outdone by his older brother and ditches the cane by forcing it on Mike (Neil Flynn). Frankie wishes that the two would reconnect the mend the long broken fences, but Mike just gets more frustrated as Tag remains on the couch, annoyed with all the fun stories his brother has to tell the rest of the family. Finally, when the whole family gathers, everything just goes south. The two rehash the past as they try to perform their old talent show act but Tag called the host of the show fat which led them to being cut. Dutch is furious and starts to leave though tag announces that Mike has to leave. The fight still hasn't ended by the time everyone goes to bed and Frankie fears it's because Dutch was the one who finally taught her how to ride a bike. But then, she hears them, Dutch playing the ukulele and them both singing in their aged voices though they are still strong in spirit. Frankie is thrilled that they are finally getting along, though she instantly ruined it by saying that Dutch taught her how to ride a bike and Tag is not pleased to hear that. And, just like that, the two are doing their bickering because they love each other. Dutch even offers to drive Tag home, because he can still actually drive, for now because he drives onto the curb though he blames Tag's talking for distracting him, not his poor eyesight.
Sue (Eden Sher) has her own demons. Detention. Her first. She didn't want to eat the gross food the cafeteria was serving so she and friends went off campus to eat lunch and when they returned and were asked, every else shook their heads no while Sue nodded as she can't lie.
So she seeks out Axl's (Charlie McDermott's) advice. He actually helps her out, more or less. He advises her to bring snacks which helps as she takes notes when Coach Babbitt (Brooke Dillman) goes over the rules. When Coach has to leave the room, she leaves Sue in charge and the hooligans start behaving badly. And they are bad, playing with a lighter against their skin, making out on the desks. But Sue follows the warning to a tee. Coach dismisses everyone, not wishing to call Sue out. She had written down everyone's name, and some had more than one frowny face based on the offensiveness of the act. Coach Babbitt is pleased as she genuinely likes Sue but her kindness will not serve her well in the real world. She needs to learn to be normal and act like an average teenager, with the proper amount of attitude. Sue probably won't learn her lesson but the sketch was well done which is always appreciated.
Though the episode was cute and I loved the interaction of the brothers, it wasn't really a great episode with Brick (Atticus Shaffer) and Axl basically given nothing to do, though they did have a good one liner occasionally. Sue's plot was a nice change of pace for her though she was her typical self. Frankie was her normal meddling self, though she wasn't over the top, again, a good change. And Mike tried his hardest not to care or get involved with family matters that don't involve him. I wish I could have seen something with the Van Dyke brothers in their prime, that would have been an amazing show. Grade: B
Side Notes:
-Brick comes up with the reverse idiom, "That's just crackers on butter," which means that thing just don't make sense. Axl believes that the saying will never catch on though Dutch says it later, to Brick's sheer delight.
-Tag compares his bladder to a sieve. That's just awkward.
-Sue can't even say the word, ass.
-One of the lines she mutters to get the group of neanderthals to cooperate is that some of them are parents. Which is a truly terrifying thought.
-For whatever reason, her parents don't find out about her Saturday detention.
-Dutch ran into Don Riggles one time.
-The Donohues taught Sue how to ride a bike but Mike doesn't care much. That is one thing I thought would actually slightly upset him.
-Doris is nowhere to be seen, and that could have been a good gag for this episode.
-Standing hugs are for strangers, sitting hugs are for family.
-In all seriousness, I hope everything is okay with Jerry Van Dyke as he never stood during the whole episode.
-Dutch lives in Las Vegas and according to Tag, he is so unappealing that his wife left him. In reality, she died, which is the ultimate flight, Tag's words.
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